I need your help everyone its a girl relationship problem... I have to post it here..

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Monterey, CA
#1
I need all your help everyone so I wanted to post it here but please do not become angry or anything... I jsut need alot of help...Well guys, remember when I had pics up of the M5 and it had the girl next to it? Well heres the story, ever since I met we became close friends. i asked her to Winterball for my high school. She is a grade below me> She is a junior and Im a senior. The thing is that she and I did that made it look like we were going out. We kissed, held hands, made out et.... The things is that one night she told me that she did not want a relationship right now and said she had feelings for me but then it became mixed feelings. We still stayed friends. I picked her up everyday to school and treated her to Starbucks since school went back in Early January. The thing is now that she became upset at me.... What happend was that one of my friends hung out with her and her friends. He asked how was winterball with her and I. From what my close friend told me, she and her freinds started laughing about me and started ragging on me. Her friend said that she found my photos of her that I printed out and dry mounted for her as a gift before Winterball was weird. The sad thing is that she agreed with her friend. My close friend told me about this and to me it showed that she really doesnt care about me. The fact was that they knew I heard about it and now a rumor went out saying I called her freind a slut but I never did. She has been upset and has told me that her freidn cried about it and then yelled at me. I never called her friend a slut. People were putting out rumors that arent true what so ever. I have only had a few people like my friend who told me and three other people on my side. Her friend is talking crap about me and she has been still upset at me ever since. I have not given her a ride, hung out with her, or given her Starbucks since Friday. Its now Tuesday. I took pictures of her for my photo portrait project and I dry mounted on a whiteboard hand signed on the right bottom. I'll show you guys later but the thing is that Im not sure if I should give them to her now this week. I was hoping that these pictures would bring back my friendship between her and I. I want is her friendship back. She has been still upset and has told me she doesnt want to hang out for a while.... I have been torn up insed because of her and I have told her Im sorry and I told her I jsut wanted her to know who I am and took those pics of her because I like her and photography is my passion. I just wnat her to know who I am. I cried to her about that when she started getting upset. I wish she could jsut her the truth about me... *sigh* please help me you guys.. you are my last hope... no one in my school has helped me... Al I have had to help me is my photo teachers.... you guys are like a second family to me. I need all your outout and help... Thanks much.

Love, jcz1987 (Justin)


p.s. Im giving her the pics tomorrow.... I have decided this after alot of thinking for hte past few days.... even if she is upset at me.....becasue I plan to tell her that these are for her and they were made from the love of photography and the enjoyment with her.
 
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#2
Give yourself a lot of room to feel the feeling that you have right now. What happened has happened. You can't change that. What you can do right now is choose your thoughts. I am so glad that you know what you want for yourself. This gal is shopping around. Gal of your age has tendency to do that. They have pleasure by watching a guy like you being emotionally tortured by them. A lot of time if you act like you don't care. (No more free ride, starbucks or phone call for a while.) They will come back to you. This is called the dance of anger. Make the best shot and try not to take things personally. You are a handsome guy. If she misses the chance, it is her lose. Hope everything goes well.
 
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New Jersey
#3
Stitch's advice is really good.

You treated her too well, high school girls need to be abused a bit to get your attention. I think you just got too clingy without really making any moves and she didn't really like that. Just let her/it go and she'll either come back to you or you just have to move on. I'd say chill with the whole photos thing...if it weirded her out once, it's going to weird her out again.
 
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Location
Atlanta GA
#5
Treat em mean and keep em keen
Old saying that has an absolute truth about it, espeically in your situation.

If I knew you better I would walk you through every step of the way in making her and any other girl chase after you! [:D]

One word of advice is do as the guys said and dont give her the photos, it wont help matter at this point and could make it worse.
[nono]
 
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Location
Toronto
#7
I third... screw the photos. And forget her.

All I can say is, and I'm sure most of us have all gone through that H.S. girlie mental abuse crap, move on.

You'll learn later on in life, 97.8% of your high school friends/girlfriends/aquaintances all disappear when you hit college or university or better yet the real life (work). Then a whole new life begins.

I laugh now when I went ga-ga over the girls back in the day, and now I'm like "what the hell was I smokin...".

Enjoy life kid... a high school girl will be least of your worries. Enjoy modding your ride man.

Good luck.

PS... check out other girls and watch her come running back.
 
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Location
Maryland
#8
Based on your story, this girl sounds confused and not the really sure about anything. She appears to be more influenced by her friends than her heart---read: "danger." If you care about her, lay low. Apologize once, and tell her to contact you when and if she's ready.

There's another old cliche that I think is applicable: If you care about something let it go, if it comes back to you, its yours, if it doesn't it never was.

Stitch's advice sounds pretty good also.

Also, you sound like you're a really nice, giving type of guy; girls (and I am generalizing) sometimes take advantage of that, and will lead you on because of how you make them feel (i.e. you make them feel special) instead of on how they feel about you. Might want to be cautious about that.

I just reread your post; hope everything went well.

Sean
 
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Monterey, CA
#9
I gave her the pics this morning when I saw her at 6:30 going to my class... All I did was give it to her in an envelope that had wrritten on it saying "these were made with the love I have for photography and the enjoyment I have being with you" She gave me a hug and open them... She said that they were really nice.... I left after she opened it and said it... Im not sure what she is thinking now...
 
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Germany
#10
Justin, you are one of the youngest members of our great board and the guys here mostly speak from personal experience, so take heed. I will tell you the only thing worse than HS girls is Army girls. I had a highschool crush and when it ended I thought the earth quit spinning, guess what?? I cannot even remember the chicks name anymore. Don't get yourself all worked up over this, play like you don't give a shit that she is mad at you, blow her off. Girls (sorry to our female members) are used to having guys wait on them hand and foot...you know the "nice guys". Well chief, 'nice guys" ALWAYS finish last. Don't play into it, make her come to you and ask why you are such an a$$hole, sounds retarded but it works. NEVER give in, NEVER become a puppy, and NEVER ever let them see you vulnerable.

Just 34 years of experience talking, I have made your mistake over and over and over again, until my partners smacked me around and showed me the errors of my ways.

Good luck
 
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#12
I would listen to Mike's (tool fan's) advice. He knows what's up. It's so funny looking at all this in third person, it doesn't seem so tricky, but when you're in that position you just feel sooo confused and helpless. I'm glad I got over all that after high school.
 
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Tennessee
#14
I would argue that you can be a nice guy without being a puppy.

But it doesn't really matter, because high school girls are retarded.

Aaaaaand, not all girls are the same. I know a few girls that would just love to have a puppy. Of course, those are the ones whose attitudes are that boobs makes right, and the world should revolve around them.
 
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#16
jcz1987 said:
I gave the pics... All Im wanting to see is how she will react with this now.. it gives her something to think about.. .shows who I really am....
Way to go, dude! We are proud of you.
 
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Location
Monterey, CA
#19
Yeah.... well I'll post a pic of what she looks like and such. The friend that thought I called a bad name talked to me and is no longer upset at me. Its the fact I have given space and time. I have giventh e pics already and Im not sure how she feels now. I think its the fact I gave them to her at an unexpected time. Those are always the best. Something unexpected at an unexpected time....
 


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