I don't know if these are real...or made-up...
but they're funny!![[clap]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_clap.gif "Clap [clap]")
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,
I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that,
but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Al Gore, Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Al Gore, Vice President
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
but they're funny!
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,
I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that,
but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Al Gore, Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Al Gore, Vice President
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina