Office Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2, 2003
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our G.M. shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
***********
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 4, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too
much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
**********
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: December 5, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home
in a doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry for that. I think I've covered everything - are we all happy now?
Patty
********
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F***ing Employees
DATE: December 6, 2003
RE: The F***ing Holiday Party!!!!
Vegetarian pr**ks..... you can stick it where the sun don't shine! I've f****ing had it with you and your ilk!!! We're going to keep this f****ing party at the f****ing Grill House whether you f****ing like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grille of death," as you so dramatically put it, and you'll get your f***ing salad bar, including organic f****ing tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2, 2003
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our G.M. shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
***********
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 4, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too
much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
**********
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: December 5, 2003
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home
in a doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry for that. I think I've covered everything - are we all happy now?
Patty
********
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F***ing Employees
DATE: December 6, 2003
RE: The F***ing Holiday Party!!!!
Vegetarian pr**ks..... you can stick it where the sun don't shine! I've f****ing had it with you and your ilk!!! We're going to keep this f****ing party at the f****ing Grill House whether you f****ing like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grille of death," as you so dramatically put it, and you'll get your f***ing salad bar, including organic f****ing tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
