Alcohol warnings... lol

Spidey

Spidey

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#1
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Austin, TX
#1
American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that
the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of
alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-
lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting
your ass kicked.

[drinking]
 
xLibelle

xLibelle

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#8
you mean they call you when drunk?

i find myself talking to friends the next day and hear, "why did you call last night?", "i did?", "yeah, my dad said wtf, when you called again and asked if i was home and had just told you 5 minutes earlier that i was sleeping!!!!"
 
MyHarley

MyHarley

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#9
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#9
xLibelle said:
you mean they call you when drunk?
Click to expand...

uh, yeah!!!!!

Thursday night example......got a call at 11:30 PM, short conversation, got another call at 2:00 AM from same person, but he wasnt on the line, just heard music and rumbling around, hung up.........got another call at 2:30 AM with the same sounds, but no person there.........hung up again.....finally another call at 3:00 AM......I said, do you realize your phone has been calling me........."uh, really"..............hung up again............be careful guys if your cell phone is not the flap kind, it calls the last person dialed and you can hear things maybe you dont want advertised..........it doesnt matter what age, Wil, guys will always call drunk.....[rofl] [rofl]
 
xLibelle

xLibelle

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#10
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#10
can i have your number? [:D]

btw, the conversation i stated in my last post was about me calling people. That one was an actual true story... kinda funny i totally blacked that phone call out of my mind.
 
MrElussive

MrElussive

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#14
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#14
I am particularly guilty of this one:

Spidey said:


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your [female] friends
over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[drinking]
Click to expand...
[?|] [:I]
 
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